


Her Ache

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Aches and Healing (Evelyn and Malcolm Series 1) [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow-up to http://archiveofourown.org/works/3963820.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tears begin to roll down Evelyn’s cheeks the moment the door to the main hall is closed behind her. She frantically makes her way up the stairs, her breathing erratic, as she tries to reach the privacy of her room before she starts to cry uncontrollably. Once Evelyn reaches the solitude of her room, she sinks onto the steps. Covering her face with her hands, Evelyn sobs.

She thinks back to what she did with Cullen, what she’s has been doing for almost two years. Why would he come to care for her? Why he’d ever see her as more than the orifices of her body? Evelyn knows she could be anyone, some nameless whore, and it wouldn't matter. Her heart breaks a little more each time she's with him, and every time she wants to say no, she doesn't. Evelyn knows he'll never care for her the way she cares for him.

The door opens, and Dorian slips through, sighing. Lowering himself down beside her, he embraces Evelyn. When she opens her mouth, Dorian shushes her. "Don't bother, Cole told me everything, and I am done keeping my silence."

“I…” Evelyn tries to think of an excuse for what she did, but can find none. She hangs her head in shame, looking away from her best friend.

"You deserve better than this.” Dorian cups Evelyn’s cheek, turning her head to make her look at him. “Sometimes I wish I were attracted to women just so you could have someone who treats you with respect." He plants a kiss on her forehead before standing. “Do something about this, or I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/17/15. Eventually all of my work will get major edits.


	2. Chapter 2

Evelyn slips into Cullen's office late one night, trying to stay strong. "Ah there you are." Cullen eyes her wolfishly. Seeing her hand lower toward her pants, he starts to loosen his laces. Instead of disrobing, Evelyn reaches into her pocket pulling out a vial of lubricant.

"I can't anymore." Evelyn fiddles with the container in her hand, looking anywhere but at Cullen. A loud noise makes her jump. When she looks in his direction, Evelyn sees Cullen slam his hand on the surface of the desk once more.

"What do you mean you can't?" Evelyn winces, taking a step back sensing his anger. Staring at the dull wood of the desktop, Evelyn sets the vial down. She gradually brings her eyes back to his level, his body is rigid, fist clenched in that moment she bites her lower lip.

"I can't do this anymore, whatever this is." Evelyn gazes into Cullen's eyes, slipping her mask off. She prays he can see her pain.

Cullen hastily looks away, to avoid seeing the hurt in her eyes. Equal parts shame and guilt build in his heart. His selfishness replays in his mind, everything he did instead of everything that he should have done. How did he become this man?

"I've cared about you for longer than I should have allowed myself to. I was a fool to believe I could be anything more to you." Evelyn’s voice breaks through Cullen’s thoughts. He returns his gaze to her face, his heart aching when he sees the tears falling.

"Evelyn..." Cullen starts, his heart breaking for her. She holds her hand up, ignoring the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Please, let me finish." Evelyn takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I thought that eventually, you might come to care for me too, but I should have known better. I could have been anyone, and it wouldn't have mattered. In all the times we have been together, I should have figured it out. When you didn't touch me, or say anything to me after. You ignored me as though I am nothing. And it hurt me every time. I can't keep doing this. I need to be with someone who will love me, who won't use me."

"Evelyn." Cullen walks around his desk, reaching out to her. Evelyn turns, racing out of his office before she gives in to her feelings. Closing the door behind her, Evelyn nods to Solas as she passes his desk in the rotunda.

"Are you okay, Inquisitor?" Solas flashes her a worried look. Evelyn shakes her head. "How can I help you?"

"I need you to stall Cullen, please. I just want to be alone right now." Solas nods, understanding in his eyes.

"Thank you." Evelyn smiles sadly at her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/17/15


	3. Chapter 3

Evelyn senses someone standing behind her, before he speaks. Turning around, and sees Cullen standing in the door of the war room. "Evelyn, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Evelyn turns back to the table, hoping Cullen will leave her alone now that he's apologized. She frowns when he walks up to her side.

"I wanted to tell you that you were wrong about something though." Cullen reaches for Evelyn, but she pulls away from his touch. "You couldn't have been just anyone. It's you… Everything about you, it couldn’t have been anyone else. I thought you knew how grateful I am to you."

"I did not." Evelyn stares at Cullen for a moment, trying to slow her racing heart. "You were still using me. I deserve better. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out."

"You're right." Cullen starts to reach for Evelyn again, but stops. Letting his hand fall down to his side, he looks away from her in shame. "I wish I could give you what you deserve. I know you probably won't believe me, but I do care for you."

"I don't. Whatever we were is over." Evelyn grips the table to steady herself, taking several deep breaths to calm down.

"I understand. I am sorry, truly." Hearing the sadness is Cullen's voice, Evelyn tightens her grip on the edge of the table to keep herself from going after Cullen when he leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/17/15


End file.
